Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
by anna1795
Summary: South can now testify to "Be careful what you wish for." Features an OC, slight romance, witchcraft, randomness, and laughs.


_Hey, everybody!_

_Since Halloween is coming up soon, and I am still working on Chapter 8 of Red vs Blue: Retribution, I figured I might treat you to a short fable of why you should be careful what you wish for. This centers around Project Freelancer, and features Agent South Dakota and my OC, Agent Delaware. _

_FYI: If any of you were wondering, yes; Delaware is a hedge witch in Retribution._

* * *

South, on a Sunday, had finally had enough. She was so sick and tired of having nothing that made her stick out. Maine had been shot in the throat, Wash was partially crazy, her brother was always the smooth one that never got angry, York was partially blind, Texas never talked, the list went on and on… She was so tired of being overlooked, South went to the one person that she would never normally ask for help.

"DELAWARE!" South screamed through the doorway to the maroon agent's room.

"Go away, South! I'm busy!" came the muffled reply.

"I don't care! Open up!" South shouted impatiently, and she was yanked into the dark room very quickly. Delaware stood there, black hair frazzled, dressed in a wrinkled t-shirt and sweatpants. She looked both tired and annoyed.

"What?" she snapped to the blonde agent impatiently. "I was working on something?"

"You're a hedge witch, right?" South asked, though it pained her every step of the way to ask for help.

"Yeah." One of Delaware's eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hair. "Why?"

"Do something. Some ritual, a charm, a spell, ANYTHING! I need something to help me stick out," South pleaded in a pained way. She hated asking for this.

"South, I can't just perform a ritual to satisfy your needs at any given time. These things take a lot of preparation, focus, and patience."

"I need something special, something that makes me more than a wallflower. And if you do it, I'll…" South thought for a moment. "Make an hour of spare time for you and North to do whatever you want, and I'll cover for you."

Delaware was conflicted. She really did not like South, or her request to take advantage of her skills. However, time with her lover was growing increasingly restricted these days. She wasn't willing to take a gamble just yet, though.

"Riddle me this: why should I help you? I can get the time when I want?"

"I have a video of you and North making out in the Training Room and on the Director's desk. It would be a shame for something like that to slip out, especially since I'm going out with Wyoming."

There was no choice. "Damn it! Fine, I'll do it!" South gave a hissed "YES!" "I'll make up something for you and slip it to you at breakfast. And I'm not doing this for you!" Delaware snarled as she shoved South back out the door, wanting to be alone again.

"Good doing business with you, Del!" South called to the woman using her brother's pet name for her, and the door opened to admit a blank journal that connected with South's head before the door shut again.

_The Next Day_

South gave a whoop of delight as Delaware trudged over and handed her a package. She looked oddly neutral about the deed, but South paid no mind. She tore open the paper and drew out a pretty gold chain decorated with small charms. Her eyes flew to the fire opal at the center of the necklace. "Flashy. I like it," she said, snapping the clasp and letting the necklace fall down her neck.

"And in return?" Delaware grumbled, holding out her hand.

"Here's a revised schedule for Thursday. You and North are on inventory duty together for three hours in Storage Room Five," South replied, handing her a data pad.

"Thanks, and good luck to you," Delaware replied shortly before turning on her heel and leaving.

"What was that all about?" Wyoming asked South as he admired the necklace around her neck.

"Who cares? I got what I wanted, and I don't have to deal with her anymore," South replied in a song-song voice, taking a drink of milk. She gagged and spit out the white liquid, which lay on the table in a mixture of watery substance and white goo. "Bleck! The milk's all sour!"

"Maybe FILSS is on the fritz again," Carolina suggested, and South glared at the red-haired woman. She put a hand to her mouth suddenly as she turned green. Without a word, South dashed from the table to the nearest lavatory.

Elsewhere

"What was that all about?" North asked Delaware as she sat down with a tray of food. Texas and York also shot her quizzical looks.

"Don't worry about it," Delaware said, passing North the revised schedule for Thursday. "I got what I wanted, and she got what she asked for."

"Well, I won't bother about it as long as she doesn't get hurt," North replied softly, kissing Delaware softly. A moment later, South ran out of the room, looking green.

"Was it something I did?" North mused aloud, but both York and Texas could see the small smile that graced Delaware's lips as she watched the retreating South.

* * *

South definitely stood out over the next few days. Any sort of action that she did was made slightly worse by something. After the curdled milk and the upset stomach, she had gone for a workout in the gym to calm her mind. The weight machines were all broken, and the treadmill went so fast that it sent her flying. Then, when she tried to grab a drink from the drinking fountain, the spout broke and sprayed water in her face.

That was only the beginning. The turrets that were testing South and her domed energy shield started malfunctioning and spraying in every single direction, and her shield shut off in the middle of the malfunction. Luckily, South was not hit by any of the bullets. Unluckily, she had to clean up all of the broken equipment on the floor. The dust that had accumulated in the corners where she worked kept her constantly sneezing throughout her chore, and her nose was quite sore when she was finally done.

Over the next few days, South was given rancid food quite randomly, had her bed collapse out from under her, got mono from kissing Wyoming, and had her armor spontaneously combust when she touched it.

All the while, she never took the necklace off.

* * *

_Friday_

"DELAWARE!" South screamed through the doorway once again, and she was dragged into the room.

"I have the weirdest sense of déjà vu," Delaware chuckled as she looked down at South. North sat on her bed, swinging his legs back and forth like a child.

"Your spell is broken. Fix it, please. I can't take it anymore!" South yelled as she fell to her knees, crying in frustration. She looked up, and saw Delaware was smiling. "What?"

"I think that you've finally learned your lesson, South," Delaware said quietly, holding out her hand. "The necklace, if you please."

South handed the gold chain over shakily, and Delaware took it quietly.

"I don't understand. What were you trying to teach me?" she asked between hiccups and gulps.

"You asked me to help you stand out and make people notice you, and I did. However, you weren't specific about what you wanted," the hedge witch chided her, sticking the necklace in a cardboard box. "So, I wished you good luck when I gave you a bad-luck necklace."

"…what?"

"Those charms that were on the necklace? There was a number 4, which is very unlucky in old Japanese culture. Then, I gave you a number 13, which is also unlucky. A full moon is quite bad as well, you know. And the opal…you were born in April, and opals go with October. Opals don't work when you aren't born in October. And the gold didn't really do anything to protect you, either."

"Why did you do that? Were you trying to get back at me for something?" South demanded angrily.

Delaware chuckled slightly, shaking her head. "No, my intent was not to harm you. I took a vow that my exploration in old witchcraft would harm no others. I gave you those charms because you asked to stand out. So, I helped you do that. Your decision to come to another person for help and give back an attractive, yet destructive gift, shows that you are a wiser person now. You can't rely on these sorts of things to bring your fame and fortune at such inopportune times."

"Why bad luck, though?"

"Hey, if you wanted good luck, you should've asked me on Saint Pat's Day, and I would've given you a green sweater."

"Was there anything on that necklace that helped me at all?" South asked quizzically.

"I could have given you a pure gold chain if I wanted to hurt you, but I gave you one that was gold-plated silver. I got what I wanted, and you have grown a lot wiser from your experience," Delaware replied matter-of-factly.

"Okay, fine. I still don't like that I'm the only one that'll know I stick out anymore," South groused as she headed for the door.

"Hey, I helped you get wiser in a less-harmful way. I could have given you a prank charm, seeing as April is coming up."

"True. That's the last time I rely on some hocus-pocus mumbo jumbo," South grumbled as she opened the door and slammed it shut.

"Was all of that necessary?" North asked as Del came to sit by him and take his hand.

"Mmm, maybe not. It sure was fun, though," she replied, giving him an Eskimo kiss.

There came a sudden shout of surprise from outside, and they poked their heads out to see South waving her arms as she tried to get her footing on the contents of a spilled box, which were (quite randomly) marbles rolling all over the floor.

"I thought that you took away her bad luck," North accused his girlfriend, who couldn't help but laugh uproariously.

"I know, and I did. I'm sure that there's a lesson in here somewhere," she wheezed as South fell over and rolled away with the endless sea of marbles, "but I think this is just too funny to find out what it is right now."

* * *

_Good, South learned her lesson and everyone got a good laugh...I hope._

_Anyways, please read and review. I love hearing from you guys, and you apparently like my short stories. If you have any ideas for others I should do, send me a PM._

_A/N: For Retribution, I can't help but think that there are some questions that may need to be addressed, artwork that wants to be drawn, etc. If you guys have questions or comments, please send them in a review or a PM, and I'll address them throughout the story. And if you guys are miraculously inspired to draw something based on the story, please do so! I would love to see it. Please keep it classy or appropriately funny, though. _

_Thanks to you all,_

_anna1795_


End file.
